Killing Time
by Gersemi
Summary: After Buffy's death, Spike sits on her porch, thinking about his relationship with her, or rather the lack of one.


**Killing Time**

Author: Gersemi

Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer © by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Enterprises and the UPN. The song 'Killing Time' belongs to Destiny's Child. No copyright infringement intended. (Don't we all love disclaimers?)

Spoilers: The Gift.

Synopsis: After Buffy's death, Spike sits on her porch, thinking about his relationship with her, or rather the lack of one.

Distribution: You want it, just ask.

Author's Note: I swore a few weeks ago, 'Never, ever write a song fic again', and what is this?

Rating: PG.

Begun: 09/26/2001

* * *

The Summer's residence, 2 days after Buffys funeral

Spike sat on the porch of the Summer's house, chewing his thumb nail, while upstairs the Nibblets radio blared a pop song. He hadn't done this in years, nail chewing, actually had stopped when being vamped, but now he needed to relieve tension, and the nasty old habit was coming back at him.

He was restless to kill something. Anything. It had been way to long, and the loss against Doc hadn't been doing much for his ego. Not mentioning Buffys death.

_*Sitting on the stairway_

_Hoping that your ok*_

He still blamed himself. Hell, he hadn't been doing anything else. He missed her more than anything. And it was his fault, after all. That he'd been able to save Dawn wasn't much of an upper.

_*Waiting patiently_

_For you to come back to me_

_(what should I do)*_

He felt the tears coming again. That was perhaps the most perverted thing ever heard of. A vampire who cried about a Slayers death.

_(is that any less perverted than a vampire in love with a slayer?)_

Spike wiped at his eyes. No need for the Nibblet see him crying again, should she come outside.

_*I don't mind the waiting_

_As long as there's still maybe*_

He started chewing on his nail again. What was it with him and the Slayer? Was it really just some kind of perversion, or was it more? Different? He'd always been an oddity among his kind, but his obsession with Slayers was bizarre. Sure, other vampires had killed Slayers. No big. But he'd hunted them. Even if his victories over the Chinese Slayer and Nikki had been mere accidents, really.

_*A possibility_

_For you to be true to me*_

He pulled his elbows up on his knees and rested his head in the palms of his hands, chewing on his lower lip now instead of his nails. The song was too true, really. He smiled a small smile. He'd been waiting. Too long. Now his woman had slipped through his fingers, had died saving the world. And she wouldn't come back, no matter how long he waited.

_*I'll be sitting on the stairway_

_Till a quarter till two_

_With nothing to do baby_

_I twiddle my thumbs and wait*_

Without him noticing, someone slipped through the shadows in the garden. The no-one watched the bleached head that shone in the light of a single porch light, and a little smile played on its lips.

_*Killing time_

_Waiting on you_

_What should I do_

_I'll be sitting here waiting*_

Spike still vividly remembered the way she fought. Her eyes. Her golden hair. Her smile. He started crying again.

_*Killing time_

_Waiting on you_

_What should I do_

_I'll be sitting here waiting*_

The no-one moved over the grass, silently, on bare feet. Its skin was shining from dew, its hair filthy and its clothes dirty and shredded.

_*I look inside your mirror_

_I'll hope that you see clearer_

_Look behind yourself_

_And you will find me*_

Tears slipped from his closed eyelids. And he did nothing to stop them. Should the Nibblet see him, no matter. She'd understand.

_*I got your back baby_

_The love I have I'm saving_

_I'll be there for you_

_Just like I said I'll be*_

He cried harder as he remember how her silken lips had felt beneath his during Red's spell. He could almost feel them, feel her sweet kiss, her soft touch More tears spilled over his cheeks.

_*I'll be sitting on the stairway_

_Till a quarter till three_

_With nothing to do baby_

_I twiddle my thumbs and wait*_

The no-one let its hand roam over the vampires face, softly pressing its lips to his. He was thinking, and crying. Was it because of her death? That would be not very likely.

_*Killing time_

_Waiting on you_

_What should I do_

_I'll be sitting here waiting*_

Slowly, Spike opened his eyes, wishing desperately for it to be true. But he didn't have that much hope. He'd had this dream too often for two days already.

_*Killing time_

_Waiting on you_

_What should I do_

_I'll be sitting here waiting*_

He opened his eyes. A smile lit up the no-one's features. How would he react?

_*Oh baby when you come back down_

_Don't forget the love you found in me_

_I know that your gonna take time_

_Remember I'm by your side*_

As he gazed into her blue eyes, his jaw dropped to the floor and he was on his feet in a second.

"B-Buffy?"

"It's ok, Spike. I'm here."

She held out her arms, inviting him, and he stared at her dumbfounded. She couldn't be here. Couldn't, simply couldn't.

"But how did you ?"

Buffy smiled a shy little smile. "I don't know. I suddenly opened my eyes, and there I was, in the coffin. I I dug my way out." She held her hands up, the once perfectly manicured nails dirty and broken.

Spike sat down heavily. Then he looked up at her. "We have to tell Dawn." He wanted to stand up, but she was at him in an instant.

"She's asleep. We can tell her tomorrow." She sank to the ground next to him. "Spike what you did, for me and Dawn, that was the nicest thing anybody ever did for me. I'm so grateful." She smiled, and suddenly her head lay on his shoulder, her warmth burning through his clothes.

_*Don't worry I'm down for you_

_No matter what you're going through_

_I'll be there, I'll be there_

_Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby*_

Spike choked back a sob. She was there. Warm, living, breathing. This was perfect.

He grinned. "Wanna kill something, Slayer?"

- - End - -


End file.
